Tales of a minecrafter (from the beginning to end)
by Selluna
Summary: Fall over laughing as you meet Steve, the player who started as a weird homeless person to a cocky rich player. Hints of romance, lots of funny wisecracks and definite epic inspired by tools and gadgets unheard of before in minecraft, along with stupid jokes to play on your friends. See this game of blocks in a whole different light and-okay, it's not that great.


"**Son, with the most stupid name of Steve, I herby give you life!" **The sound of the booming voice echoed.

The guy in blue looked up. "Pop?"

Notch looked insulted. "I am most certainly not your, 'pop' you speak of. I must explain several things to-"

Steve looked around wildly. He was tied to a wooden bench with rope, and there was a guy in a cape and tights in front of him. "It's a superhero!" He yelled.

Notch waved his hand and a fern stuffed in Steve's mouth. "Shut up," he said briskly. "AS I was saying, I have several things to explain to you. As I send you into this world, the first thing you will do is punch a tree."

Steve spit out the fern. "What the crap are you talking about? Punch a tree? That's the stupidest thing anyone can do. Ask the tree."

Notch stuck Steve's lips together. "With this, you will have plenty of wood to build a house. Hurry. It doesn't have to be perfect. Herobrine, the lord of darkness, has created monsters, such as spiders-"

Steve ripped his lips apart. "Ow! Spiders? What's a spider?"

Notch sighed in exasperation. "My god, boy. Is there any way to shut you up?" He flicked a piece of steak into Steve's mouth.

"Anyway, there are two types of spiders. A cave spider, who bites you and lets poison slowly overtake your body, and normal spiders, who take a bit of your health with each bite. There are zombies, who cause some damage with each bite. Careful-they may have weapons or armor."

"Nom nom-hey, this steak is good," Steve said.

Notch ignored him. "There are deadly beasts called creepers, missing eyes and nose and having no manners whatsoever. They get close and blow up. They take away half of your life. Then there's all that junk magma cubes and endermen,zombie pigmen and ghasts and all that amusing stuff, but they aren't important. You can build most of your stuff in crafting tables, do a bunch of useful stuff with a furnace, and eat food."

Steve licked his bleeding lips. "I want more of that steak."

Notch looked at Steve. "Boy, did you just listen to any of the stuff I just said other than the part about the steak?"

Steve looked blankly at Notch. "What?"

Notch rolled his eyes and broke a bottle of enderman potion into Steve's face. Steve felt light headed. . .then swirled into a portal to minecraft world.

It's been a year since I met that guy in a superhero outfit. Ever since then, things are going pretty smoothly. I built a nice quartz mansion and a tree house, caught plenty of food and am rich with diamonds, gold and iron. I even started a small corner store.

I was walking down the road, planning to put a pile of thumbtacks (to keep loose papers from fluttering. Paper fits way more words than signs.) yellow vases (Holding flowers for decoration-clay, yellow dye, water and flower needed to make) diamond shields (Used to fully protect yourself from harm when holding it, but wears out easily) into my store stock, where no one ever came anyway.

I suddenly ran into a pretty girl. She had long brown hair and a plaid shirt, and grayish eyes. Had Notch made another person?

"Hi!" She said. "I don't have a place to stay, I haven't had food since Notch stuffed me with pork chops, and I fell asleep in the grass, which was a mistake on my part because a creeper came up to me and exploded. I respawned here, and I really need to get away from those creepers."

"Sure," I reply, startled. This person talks fast. "You're the first person I ever saw other than a guy in a superhero cape-" "**It was a cloak idiot." **Notch's voice boomed out of the heavens. "Fine, a cloak, and because of that, you can stock up at my store," I say, trying not to sound strained. These boxes were heavy. Did I put bricks into the vases?

The girl squeals. Then she picks up my boxes with the strength of an ox and _flounced_- yes, flounced off into the direction of my store. I could barely walk while lugging those things. I felt extremely stupid. "Wait!" I call, and follow her.


End file.
